


Small, Gold, Plastic Tokens

by anavrin89



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Eating Disorders, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Vomiting, lightly mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:40:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28748595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anavrin89/pseuds/anavrin89
Summary: Please heed the warnings/tags. If eating disorders or vomiting (even if it is very lightly mentioned/not explicitly described) is something that triggers you or something you don't like to read about, you might not want to read. Thank you for your courtesy! :)Based on a Tumblr post I found on Pinteresthttps://pin.it/2CpKxx2here are some resources for if you are struggling w an eating disorder as well as the hotline for national sU!c!de preventioneating disorder: https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/information/resources-for-anorexia-bulimia-and-binge-eating-disordersU!c!de prevention: National Hotline Number is 800-273-8255 available 24 hours a dayhttps://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/PLEASE SEEK HELP IF YOU ARE HAVING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS OR ACTIONS OR HAVE AN EATING DISORDER. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT ALONE, AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE ASHAMED. YOU ARE LOVED AND WANTED AND BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT. GETTING HELP IS HARD SOMETIMES BUT JUST VISITING A WEBSITE COULD BE THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS RECEIVING IT, PLEASE CONSIDER VISITING THEM. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS SHORT MESSAGE, I LOVE YOU AND HOPE YOU STAY SAFE BABES.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Kudos: 23





	Small, Gold, Plastic Tokens

**Author's Note:**

> LAST WARNING!!!!!
> 
> Please heed the warnings/tags. If eating disorders or vomiting (even if it is very lightly mentioned/not explicitly described) is something that triggers you or something you don't like to read about, you might not want to read. Thank you for your courtesy! :)
> 
> based on this Tumblr post from Pinterest:  
> based on this Tumblr post from Pinterest:  
> https://pin.it/2CpKxx2

It was Thursday, which meant Oikawa was out. He was always out on Thursdays, not to party, not to walk around in silence, and not to meet up or hang out with anyone. He went out every Thursday to a support group. A support group for eating disorders.

He started going six months ago after his sister confronted him about it. He thought he had kept it under wraps and that no one had noticed, but his sister was always quick to pick up on his shenanigans. He had been clumsy and went on a huge binge, not aware that his sister was watching, and after went to go purge. He was puking over the toilet when his sister burst into the bathroom. He thought he had locked the door.

She asked him about it and why he was doing it, but he couldn’t even respond before he broke down in tears. His sister just pulled him close and spoke soft, soothing words while she rubbed his back. He had felt so weak. 

After he stopped crying, his sister talked to him about what was going on. He explained how he had fallen into a depression and suddenly just started doing it. He knew it was bad at first, but once he had started he couldn’t stop himself. It hadn’t gotten to a severe stage, so no one, save his sister, had noticed, thankfully. He knew if anyone had it would’ve been Iwaizumi, and he didn’t want to make Iwaizumi worry.

He and his sister talked for a while about how he was feeling, and she urged him to get help. At first, he refused, saying he didn’t want anyone to think he was weak and that he wasn’t able to fix this on his own. He kept trying to, yet he always fell back into his toxic habit, so he caved and took his sister’s advice. She told him about a support group that a friend of hers went to previously, and told him when and where they met up.

So, he reluctantly went, feeling nervous that everyone was going to judge him. However, everyone was accepting, and they were so supportive, offering kind words and thanking him for joining them and getting help. He went the next week, and the week after that, and the week after that, and he had warmed up to them. It was so familiar now, and he found comfort in knowing that he wasn’t the only one who struggled, or was currently struggling, in that small rec center room.

Today marks six months that he’s been coming here, and in those six months, he had stayed clean. He got very close to falling back into his eating disorder on multiple occasions, but persevered, for his sister, his friends in the group, and for himself. He had made it six months. It felt amazing that he made it this far, and he was so proud of himself. He was so proud of himself, and yet he felt ashamed. He was ashamed that he even had to do this, that he had to seek out help. Ashamed that he hadn’t even told Iwaizumi, because he desperately wanted to see the look on his face when Oikawa told him he had been clean for six whole months. But he was still afraid of worrying Iwaizumi so he never told him. How unlucky he was for wanting to share such a big achievement with his best friend in the entire world, but not even allowing himself to. He felt awful.

He entered the building through the push open doors and walked to the meeting room. He had been going so long, at this point his brain was acting on pure muscle memory. When he walked in most of his friends were there, some had yet to arrive, talking among themselves about their lives. But, as Oikawa sat down he noticed a new face. She was a small, shy girl, and she couldn’t be any older than Toru’s age. She looked nervous as it was probably her first time, so Oikawa approached her.

“Hi, I’m Oikawa. I haven’t seen you here before. Is this your first time coming?” 

The girl looked up from the floor with wide eyes. She was probably startled by the sudden call out to her.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, it’s okay. I just wasn’t expecting anyone to talk to me. I’m Kyo.”

“That’s a lovely name. So how long have you been coming to the meetings?” Oikawa asked with a soft smile.

“Oh, well, it’s my first meeting. My older brother made me come and I’m kinda nervous.”

“That’s okay. I was totally nervous my first time coming too. I thought I was gonna be judged, but everyone in this room is kinda going through this together, so they showed me that they have my back. And they will definitely have yours too, Kyo.”

“Thank you, Oikawa. I’m glad I made at least one friend here,” she said with a nervous laugh, “So how long have you been coming to the meetings?”

“Six months. Six months today actually, and I have been clean all six of them,” he responded with a prideful smile.

“Wow, congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

Before either of them could say anything else, the organizer spoke.

“Hello, and welcome back. Or if you’re new, welcome. I am glad you all are here getting help and finding support, we have a lot to discuss today, so let's just jump right into it.” she said looking out to everyone in the small circle of chairs.

They all talked and shared their stories. Kyo got to introduce herself, and everyone welcomed her and listened to her story. Before they knew it, an hour had passed and it was time to wrap up the meeting.

“Alright, well our time is up, but before we all start to pack up and leave, I would like to congratulate one of our attendees on a milestone,” she explained with an excited glint in her eye, ”Oikawa, congratulations on being clean for six months. We all know how hard you have worked and you have made it so far. I know it isn’t much but here is a six-month token, for making it this far.”

Oikawa took the small token from her palm while everyone clapped. It was a small, gold plastic coin with the words “SIX MONTHS” etched into one side and “CONGRATS” etched onto the other. Even though it wasn’t a huge gift, Oikawa couldn’t help but feel proud of what he had done. He was on a steady path to recovery, he was halfway there. But he still felt upset. Upset that he wouldn’t be able to share this moment with his best friend later. So he thanked the organizer, gathered his things, and walked out.

He was on the verge of tears and would’ve let his sob out when he walked out of the doors into the fresh air, but something, or rather someone, ran into him.

“Ow! Hey watch where you’re going!” Oikawa said, not bothering to be polite. He wasn’t really in the mood to care.

“Oh, I am sorry.” the person responded.

Oikawa would’ve kept going, but that voice was all too familiar. He whipped his head around to meet the owner.

“Ushiwaka? What the hell are you doing here? Are you stalking me?” Oikawa screeched.

“Oikawa.” Ushijima said, a little breathless, “No, I am not stalking you. I am here to pick someone up. What are you doing here?”

“Oh well, I like to just wander around the building for an hour or so,” Oikawa mocked, “I was in a meeting dumbass, what else?” 

“Oh. I am sorry if I offended you. I did not mean to.” Ushijima replied.

“Yeah of course you didn’t.”

They sat in silence for a moment before Ushijima asked a question.

“Oikawa are you alright? You seem upset.”

“Oh, yeah well I am upset. I’m definitely upset. I’m upset. I’m upset because I’ve done this for six months, and I have nothing to show for it but this stupid plastic coin.” Oikawa said as he yanked the coin out of his pocket.

“Well, you don’t have nothing. You have the token. It is something to remind you that you have made it this far. It is special because it symbolizes how long you have been doing this for.”

“Yeah, well since it seems so special to you, you take this stupid coin!” Oikawa snapped, pushing the coin to Ushijima’s chest and turning to walk away.

“Oikawa-san! I didn’t think you would still be here. I see you’ve met my older brother.” Kyo said, walking out of the building.

“Ah, Kyo-chan. Actually, I was just leaving and- hold on. Did you just say older brother?”

“Yes, I did.”

“As in  _ your _ older brother?”

“Mhmm.”

“As in, the older brother that made you come to this meeting?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh for fucks sake!” Oikawa shouted as he walked away to his car.

“What was that all about?” Kyo asked turning to Ushijima.

“I’m not really sure,” Ushijima replied, looking at the coin still pressed up against his chest by his own hand now.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oikawa kept going to the meetings. So did Kyo, and Oikawa was happy for her since she was getting help for recovery. But he wasn’t happy that he would most likely have to see Ushijima too.

Oikawa saw him every week since Kyo had joined. However, Ushijima didn’t even try to talk to him. He just kept doing whatever he was doing on his phone, and Oikawa minded his business, save the first week after Kyo joined when Oikawa walked out and expected Ushijima to say something, so he stood there for a minute, looking at him, waiting. But Ushijima didn’t say anything, surprisingly. He just looked up from his phone for a second and gave an awkward small wave, prompting Oikawa to turn around, embarrassed that he had just stood there staring at him.

Every week, he saw Kyo too, obviously. They both showed up early each week, so they often talked about their lives before the meeting started. Oikawa mostly talked about volleyball and Iwaizumi or his sister and Kyo sat and listened. When Oikawa finished talking Kyo would start telling her own stories. The first week after she first came to the meetings, Kyo talked about how Ushijima was the one who made her come to the meetings. At first, Oikawa was repulsed, for obvious reasons, but he let her continue her story, nonetheless. She talked about him and how sweet he was and how supportive he was being. Oikawa was intrigued. Ushijima wasn’t  _ sweet _ . At least not to Oikawa. But Oikawa was now interested in learning more about his stone-faced rival, so every week, when they both arrived, Oikawa would tell his stories and Kyo would tell hers. And every week, Oikawa learned just a little bit more about Ushijima.

Apparently, Kyo’s father had married Ushijima’s mother, making her and Ushijima step-siblings. But she always spoke of him as a brother, even if they were separated by DNA, and Oikawa found it endearing how close they were. Oikawa got to know that Ushijima was a protective older brother because Kyo was only fifteen when they first met, though now she was sixteen, and she would tell stories of how creepy old men would try to hit on her, Ushijima would always put a stop to them, with a “Death Glare”. Kyo’s words.

It was now six months since he and Kyo had met. It was also Kyo’s six-month milestone. Kyo had successfully stayed clean as well for six months. On top of that, it was Oikawa’s one-year milestone. They had both made it so far and Oikawa was proud of Kyo. 

The meeting went, as usual, stories being told, up and downs, people who stayed clean, and some who relapsed. 

Then the big moment came.

“Alright, our meeting is coming to an end. But first, we have to attendees who have made milestones,” the organizer said happily, “First off, we have Kyo. Congratulations on being clean for six months!” 

Kyo smiled wide and took the plastic six-month token from the organizer’s palm happily.

“Lastly, we have Oikawa. Congratulations on being clean for a whole year!” 

Oikawa smiled and took the familiar gold token from the organizer’s palm while the others clapped. He had done it. One whole year. Yet he still felt upset. He didn’t have someone to be proud of him. He still hadn’t told Iwaizumi but had since realized that he just wanted to hear anyone say that they were proud of him. Sure it was implied, but no one ever actually said it, and that’s what Oikawa needed most.

He walked out of the building, Kyo staying behind for a minute to talk to some other members. 

As Oikawa walked, he remembered what he had done with his last token. He chuckled at the memory of him slamming the small plastic coin against Ushijima’s chest in a small fit of anger. He thought about it for a moment and realized that, like the previous coin, he still didn’t want his milestone marker. So, he decided to give it to Ushijima instead, though this time more politely.

He walked out of the building and turned to the bench Ushijima always sat on. Sure enough, Ushijima was there, looking at his phone. Oikawa took a deep breath and walked over the where he sat.

“Hey, Ushiwaka.”

“Hello, Oikawa. Is there something you need?”

Oikawa held his breath for a second. He was kind of embarrassed that he was doing this, but he continued.

“I actually wanted to give this to you,” Oikawa said sheepishly holding out the gold token,” I don’t know if you remember but last time I got one of these I gave it to you. Well, sort of. But anyway, I don’t really want it, and I thought I would give this one to you as well. If you’ll take it, that is.”

Ushijima looked at him for a second before taking the small coin from his hand.

“I will take it. Thank you Oikawa, I am honored.” Ushijima said teasingly.

“Oh har har. Well, I should get going. See you next wee-”

“Oikawa-san! Good, you’re still here,” Kyo said as she ran up to the pair, “So Ushijima is taking me out to dinner to celebrate and I wondered if you wanted to come with. If you don’t have any other plans.”

“Uh, well, I don’t actually, so I guess I could come, but you would have to tell me where we’re going so I can drive there,” Oikawa replied.

“Actually, we’re going to the diner over there, so you won’t need your car. We just have to walk across the street. The food is actually really good. I and Toshi-chan went once for dinner when our parents went on a date.” Kyo said excitedly.

“Great. Then let's go.” Oikawa said with a smile.

“Hold on. I need to go put something in our car. I’ll be right back guys.” Kyo said before running off to Wakatoshi’s car.

“Don’t run in the parking lot,” Oikawa shouted after her, “So, Toshi-chan, huh?”

“Haha. Yes, she has given me a nickname. I think it is nice.”

Oikawa giggled and they fell into silence again.

“I still have the six-month token”

“Huh?”

“The token from your six-month marker. It’s actually in my nightstand drawer. Kind of like a reminder you know? That you did it, so why can’t I? So whenever I need encouragement I kind of just take it out a mess with it, and it helps me get through whatever I’m facing.”

“Oh,” Oikawa was kind of surprised, “Thank you.”

Another small bout of silence.

“I’m proud of you, Oikawa.”

Oikawa whipped his head to the side and met Ushijima’s gaze.

“What?” he said wide-eyed.

“I said, I’m proud of you. You’ve made it so far, and I’m so proud of you.”

With that, tears started to stream down Oikawa’s face, and he sobbed lightly.

“Oh! I’m sorry! Did I say something wrong?” Ushijima asked, concern laced in his voice.

Oikawa started to laugh with his sobs.

“No, no. You didn’t. I’m sorry, it’s just been a while since someone’s actually said that. I mean it was always implied that people were proud of how far I had come, but no one had ever said it outright. And I guess that was just what I was waiting for. So thank you Ushijima.”

“Wakatoshi.”

“Huh?”

“You can call me Wakatoshi.”

“Oh. Well then I guess you can call me Toru,” Oikawa said with a smirk,” Thank you, Wakatoshi. Nah, Wakatoshi sounds too formal. Thank you Toshi-chan.”

“You’re welcome, Toru,” Wakatoshi said giving Oikawa a small smile as he did, giving Oikawa a light pink tint on his cheeks as he smiled back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :)
> 
> If you did not see it at the beginning this is based on a Tumblr post I found on Pinterest:  
> https://pin.it/2CpKxx2


End file.
